Completely Innocent Star Trek Shirt
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Wanton Fall Out Boy Lovin
So. Anyone who knew me for last 6 years will know that i spent a fierce 3 years in love with Fall Out Boy. I had a crazy intense infatuation with Patrick and anything Fall Out Boy related had me in fits of joy (the whole catalogue). I never felt that way about music before and everything they did and any bands they loved or were involved with filled my life with music. Dawn till dusk i would sing it and play it and love it (i attribute my near constant singing of their songs to the reason why i am so often mistaken for having an american accent) and then they went on hiatus.
I cried, as i have never done for any other kind of loss of music or band and it was kind of like a part of my life slowly shut down. I mean i grew and had fun, i wasn’t depressed but this music that I felt as though i could eat it and never be full but never starve either was gone.
When i listened to their songs for a year or two after it hurt. It would make me sad to hear it so i stopped listening. Occasionally a song would come on (if my ipod was on shuffle) or if i walked past a store and i heard it and i would smile and i would feel that love of music brimming in me again but there was always a bitter tang to the sweet sound. I couldn’t help it, i could see and hear and feel the genius there but how i felt about it emotionally was imbedded in the music. I wondered if i’d ever feel about their music as i once had.
More time passed and i would think of them from time to time. I’d pass a music stand of magazines and scan them for my boys. I would see a tweet from Pete. Hear about Joe and Andy rocking it up in the hardcore scene. Read a blog from Patrick. I went to Angels and Kings when i went to America last year. I’d wear the t-shirts. I’d order a new batskull necklace. The more time passed the more the memory of how their music made my feel faded. I knew i loved the way it sounded deeply but how i acted seemed like something that might have been attributed to the wild mark of my youth.
And then days ago they blasted back onto the scene with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark. And at first i was excited i screamed and rolled around and jumped up and down but i don’t think the full gravity of the situation hit me. I was kind of in disbelief. Then in the days that followed bit by bit as the idea that they where back cemented I’d hear old songs and go ‘oh man i love this song’ and it was like something magic had happened. Instead of having that sad feeling kind of blanketing the good feeling all i felt was good. Better then good. I felt wild. Positively indecent with happiness.
It’s like remembering not just with my mind but with my body and soul how much I really LOVED this music. I could never exactly put my finger on what drove me so madly, crazily, deeply in love with that FOB sound because other bands (like My Chem, second fave always god damn they rock) seemed perfectly suited to me as well but theres just something about Fall Out Boy that speaks to me right down to my core. And nothing not My Chem not even Patricks solo stuff (which i really liked actually) could touch that crazy ass feeling of just wanting to run and dance and scream until i have nothing left.
I can barely handle it but jeez it feels good.
The ship the writers created for the sole purpose of ripping our hearts out and stomping on them.
sabellart
